I think we can agree that now more than ever we are guilty of spoiling our kids. Growing up in the 90's was the best. But I can tell you this much whenever I wanted something I didn't get. Like never. I couldn't even con my mom to the ole' candy bar at the supermarket.
Now fast forward, I have my kids. I say I'll never raised spoiled brats. Now... well they aren't brats but they are for sure spoiled. We always use the terms I'm want them to have what I didn't. What I didn't realize what I meant Is I want to make sure they feel loved and safe. X-boxes and Airpods don't make them feel loved, it just makes them happy for a minute and then they want more.
I started this vicious cycle I want out of, but how? I mean we live in a very well off town with many families that give their kids well above what a normal 12 year old should have. I finally realized it today. Not giving them what everyone else has gives them grit, resilience and makes them appreciate. That's the word I'm looking for, appreciation.
So I changed the game.
You break something I bought you, your in debt to me and you owe me that money.
You want something you earn it, and I'm not talking about bullshit chores.. I want to see you struggle.
You want clean clothes, clean them.
Sure I sound mean, but you know what when my kids grow up and get their first job when shit get's hard they will be able to handle it. When they borrow something from a friend and break, they will replace it. When they want something, they will remember how good it feels to earn something and will appreciate and respected it more.
They still feel loved, they still feel safe. But now I am being a parent and teaching them.