Is honesty the best policy with your kids?
As a kid growing up there was a lot that was happening around me that I fully didn't understand. Anytime I ask a parent/adult I always was told this is adult business and go away, so I did. As I got older things that I questioned became more clear and I realized that I was lied to most of my life. I am not talking about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I am talking about real-life stuff. Money Issues, Relationship Issues, Drugs, Sex, and the list goes on.
Now in the era, we are in cleary the interest exists so anything our kids have questions about they just google it. So should our parents adjust to that? Also, do you think if lie to our kids it makes them not trust us with bigger issues? Or if we skim over important issues they will try to find out themselves and may stumble upon the wrong information.
Well, I 100% believe honesty is the best policy. I want my kids to hear it from me, not the internet or friends. I mean everything the good, bad, and the ugly. My home is an open-door policy, if they come to me with a question I answer honestly. No matter how uncomfortable or if you think they cant handle it. They can. For instant I am not the mom who will pretend my son isn't going to have sex. Instead we talk a lot about this subject. I always inform him its natural and never to feel shameful about it. But there are levels of understanding. He once came to me and told me that a few 8th graders on the bus were watching porn. He wanted to know what it was and also admitted to me is googled it. At first, this conversation felt heavy and scary. But then I realized its an opportunity to steer him in the right direction. Before I tell you what I told him please be aware I am a very open person so if you are not do not continue to read.
I told him that porn is something many people watch. Some more than others. It's completely natural to feel curious. That when he is older this is something he will do and I'll be sure to knock before entering, haha. But I told him there is a dark side to this as well and that if you start too early you may see things that don't make sense and confusing. I asked him to wait, wait as long as he could. And when he was ready to explore that was ok. I also went over that porn set unattainable expectations and when he does move forward with a girl he should respect limits and understand how she feels. He agreed. I touch base with him every so often and when I do he is 100% honest with me on where he is at. So don't expect your kids to honor the honest policy if you cant be honest as well.