Have you ever had one of those weeks where life decides to throw all its curveballs at you simultaneously, leaving you feeling like a what am I actually doing or who did I piss off ? If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky. If you have, well, welcome to the club.
Let’s set the scene. It’s Monday morning, and you wake up to your alarm blaring like a foghorn. As you groggily reach to turn it off, you knock your phone off the nightstand. It lands in the one cup of water you forgot to take back to the kitchen. Great. Phone's dead, you scream fuck, it’s only Monday, right?
Determined to not let this minor mishap ruin your day, you head to the bathroom. Only to find out the hot water isn’t working. So, you brace yourself for an ice-cold shower that rivals the Arctic. NOPE , JK ! Not taking a cold shower. It is hairwash day so you throw it up in the messy bun hoping no one notices your greasy disgusting hair.. You remind yourself that it can only get better from here.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
You get dressed in record time, You’re about to make a much-needed cup of coffee when you realize you’re out of K-Cups. Because your asshole husband used the last one and left the box, and oh didnt let you know. He must think I have amazon subscribe and save attached to my ass. As caffeine-less day looms ahead, and suddenly, you really feel like the only option is to return to bed and restart tomorrow.
The day progresses you jump in your car to run your son to summer camp. Your car won’t start, you cannot understand why. Until you slowly go around the back of the car to find wires and plastic shrewed accross the driveway. As you review your blink camera footage. You find that your cute Beagle chased a chipmuck under the car up into the wheelwell only to rip apart the main fuel sensor. QUEUE the towtuck ! Off goes your mom moblie, the shopping mobile the lifeline of your family.
As if that could fuck up your day, You decided to cook dinner only to be welcomed to a werid sound and then boom oven goes blank and locks. The control panel died.
Takeout it is.
Now to round out the week. On a lovely Wednesday morning with no hot water, no car, no oven. I start to enjoy my coffee as I hear yelling from the driveway. Its my husband.
In a rush, having the same week I am. He jumped in his truck and pulled that thing from PARK into REVERSE without thought and took his big ass truck's trailer hitch straight into my son's car. Smashing the grill, fan, and radiator. As I stood there looking at the aftermath of the fluids pouring into my driveway, I couldn't help but laugh.
Like WTF did I do to deserve this bullshit!
Now my car is in the shop, my 16-year-old son's car is dead at this point, and as all this is happening, my youngest son comes out to tell me he lost his phone!
So, first you cry. Then you laugh at the absurdity of it all. Then you pour yourself a glass of wine (or two), and remind yourself that life’s chaos makes for the best stories. After all, it’s the moments when everything falls apart that we appreciate the times when it all comes together.
Or so they say. WHO THE FUCK IS THEY ? because I am still in it ! haha
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