Last year, I wrote a blog with the purest intent. I wrote as a mom—a mom having a hard time watching her son struggle with something he loved. Something he loved so much that he would put everything on the line for, yet felt he wasn’t being recognized for it.
Before writing this blog, I went months without saying anything, just telling him to keep his head up because with struggle comes success. But then, after an extremely rough weekend—my husband’s surgery, my dog passing away on my living room floor, and watching my son struggle even more—I felt the need to vent on my platform.
Anyone who knows me knows that I do everything from the heart. That doesn’t mean I’m a people pleaser; I’m actually the opposite. I respect everyone to my core. I’m kind to everybody and wish no harm on anyone, but I am honest and truthful.
I believe that honesty and being true to yourself bring the right people into your life. I believe I’ve shown everyone around me who I am. I’m not a gossip, but I will call you out. I don’t do drama, so I’ll shut it down. But I love deeply. I am the most loyal friend you could find. I’d even hide a dead body for you.
When I wrote this blog, I was in a heightened emotional state and wrote with emotion, but I didn’t write it to attack anyone or ruin anyone’s reputation. Truly, when I wrote it, I could not foresee it being taken the way it was.
After the blog was posted, I received feedback from some people saying how refreshing it was because they felt the same way about their kids. But I was soon reminded that not everyone felt that way. It took me a little time to digest and understand how someone could be so upset with me, but I always listen and try to see the other side. Although I believed I wrote it with the purest intent, maybe I didn’t use the right words or consider how it would affect the wrong people.
It was a lesson—to be more cautious and understanding of how my words could affect others. I live my life as a truth-teller, but I realize I could always be better at examining my words and how someone might interpret them.
The damage was done. Not only did I take responsibility, but I also removed the blog and apologized a thousand times for what they felt hurt them. But in my heart, I know that was never how I intended it. I was being a mom first.
I don’t regret writing it, as everything in life teaches you something, but I do regret letting it affect me and take away my passion to write, to be honest, and to speak the truth. I want to put it all out on the table and know I’ll be judged, but not care.
I don’t care about being judged. I definitely don’t want to hurt people. I’m very outspoken, some might say a little crazy, but those who truly know me know I have the biggest heart and truly want the best for everyone, including my son.
So, I’m here to say that I want to take my passion back. I want to write like I’ve never written before, but I will always keep those close to me in mind. I have little fear in life, other than hurting people. It hurts me.
But I also don’t want to tiptoe around. I believe people who have made changes in life have bent every corner to try to change every mind and have paved the way for everyone.
I want to walk down that road together, not on separate sides of the street.
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