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  • Writer's pictureCaitlin Lewis

Burned the F**k Out

As I sit here in my bathroom at 6:30, in my empty tub, with my half glass of wine. Trying to figure out if I want to scream, cry or zone out. I realize I have come to my breaking point of the month. It's a consent struggle to push ahead sometimes when you are knocked down over and over again. It's draining and knowing that when I open that door to be a mom, wife, and person I have to push it down and push on. But for once can we all agree we are all just burned the fuck out.

I always tell people that there should be a class your senior year in high school that is called.

"Adult Shit", the real-life of being an adult. The stripped-back version and true struggles. Maybe we would never grow up if we knew, haha. It would have lessons on failure, stress, worrying, sadness and overall just living the burned-out adult life. As an adult no matter how far ahead you get there is something shortly after coming to rock your world. Money, relationships, family, jobs. It could be something as little is your cute little dog decided to take a shit on your new carpet. Why, because we are all are our tipping point, on edge and constantly having to pivot to survive.

I was never prepared for being a true adult. Adulthood is messy and mostly shitty. No one cheering you on in the stands, you're a lone wolf in a big pack. You learn most people are out for themselves and will disappoint you constantly. But to survive you push down the shitty parts to make way for some good and happiness. You make small moments to keep you going each day. You plan things to look forward to so when those crappy days hit you know there is something on the other side. You look at your friends, neighbors, and relatives and wonder if they are struggling too. THEY ARE. We all do. Some are just better at hiding it. But really we all just want to crawl up at night in an empty tub, with a half glass of cab and cry, yell or just be alone so we don't have to fake it for a few minutes,

So Cheers to my fellow struggling adults out there. We are all here, head just above the water, trying to fight the burnout.

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