Marriage isn't about unconditional love. Marriage isn't about marrying your best friend. Marriage isn't about those butterflies when you first meet. Marriage is raw and can only work if you COMPROMISE. Each day, month, or year you are going to be challenged in your marriage. That love will turn into hard ass work.
Work to be able to accept them at their worse, most vulnerable and the changes in who there is to who are becoming. To be successful in your marriage you will need to pivot. Along your journey, you will run into many things that will make you question your spouse. Finances, careers, parenting, depression, self-identity, and mistakes. But the biggest hurdle will be those small things. The things you overlooked when you were just getting together.
The way they put the dishes in the dishwasher, the way they eat, where they put their shoes when they get home and it will drive you absolutely insane!! So how do you survive these moments? Compromise.
Here are a few of the ways I learned to comprise
My husband eats ice cream like a science experiment. He aggressively scoops the ice cream in his spoon from the bowl and then shoves it in his mouth and sushes it around in there for a few minutes to melt it and then slurps it down. The process could take 5-10 minutes for him to eat his ice cream, As I stare at him contemplating if I should grab his spoon and shove it up his ass.
Compromise- I ensure I am at least 5-6 ft away from him on the couch ( we have a large sectional) I turn the TV up as loud as I can without making him comment it's too loud and if it's getting too much I'll just go fold a load of laundry so when I come back it's done.
When I'm cooking dinner he will stand there sampling while I'm still cooking like I am a f**king catering service. He just shoves his hands into the pot and grabs what looks good.
Compromise- CROCKPOTS & AIRFRYERS
Vacation prep really brings out the best in us. (being sarcastic ) This one really gets me. I plan, prep, pack everything for any trip. The night before the trip Ill remind him to get whatever he wants to bring or needs outside of the normal things you bring on a trip. He will respond with " Ill do it in the morning" Come morning, All hell breaks out in the house!
He is running around looking for things, yelling, blaming me for the things he can't find saying i misplaced them ( we all know that's not true) By the time we get on the road everyone's blood pressure is high, my teen would make a comment by this time " This is going to be an awesome vacation". We start the trip in silence and ensure we make zero eye contact, even though we are both side-eyeing each other. And think about all the things we want to say to each other.
ME- " You dumbass, if you just did it last night we would be all good. But you had to wait last minute then take a 2 hour morning shit and check your crypto ... next time I'm leaving your ass here"
Him- " If she didn't touch my shit and put it in random places I would have been ready but she always has to move everything around, I hate how she breathes. Look at her over there breathing. I should have brought my noise-canceling headphones"
Compromise- I PACK EVERYTHING, I tell him we are leaving an hour before I actually want to leave to accommodate his morning shit. And we both bring noise-canceling headphones on the trip!
I love and care about my husband. But I am not gonna lie, There have been times I could of been on the next Dateline episode if he added one extra scoop of ice cream to the bowl.
" In a small Upstate NY town, a woman kills their husband with an ice cream scoop .....".
Just kidding! I've avoided this with compromise!