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  • Writer's pictureCaitlin Lewis

Talking to your kids about Sex, do it now!

So we can all agree somehow sex has become a taboo to discuss with children and I truly couldn't disagree with this more. How can we note sex as the topic to push to the side but launch them into TV, social media and video games that are going to teach them their own way.

Sex is natural, needed and going to happen no matter if you tell them or not. So when and how do you do that ? Now, Now and Now. No age is wrong to start to discuss it but children are intelligent, curious and will ask questions so don't shut them down.

With my kids honesty is my only policy. Sure I may tell them gently or leave out some details but I am always honest. My oldest son who is almost 14 knows no matter what the subject if he asks he is getting the truth and I know that makes him feel confident to ask me. We started the talk when he was 7 and had the below conversation was he was 12. Then many more the past year.

How I told him is different than the old school suggested approach. The sit down birds and bees talk. I ripped the band aid right off. Discuss women and men and how their bodies works, how their mind works as well ( This is more important) How does a women feel and why she wants to have sex and the same for the man. We can all agree Men and Women have different needs that are completed with sex. Intimacy, touch, fun, and desire. He asked me lots of deep questions from how do you know how to have sex? How do you know if someone wants to have sex? What if I mess up?

So much pressure ! I said you will know. Sex a fluid thing, you try new things to find what you enjoy.

I also told him all the things with sex that can happen if you're not careful. Consent, pregnancy, emotions, etc. Then we discussed taking care of ourselves, yes he laugh then got embarrassed but that's a part of life you will explore and that's normal and ok! Porn was a topic brought up by him which I expected and my response was blunt. Yes, porn is normal to watch but a few things can happen if you watch it too early. You will see things you cannot undo and your expectations will be set at unobtainable goals. So I asked him to hold off as long as he could.Sex is amazing and you should never be ashamed.

He ended the conversation by asking me if my husband and I have sex. I said YES! When your in a relationship, you will and do ask much as you can. He said, DONT TELL ME ANYMORE! I told him you are responsible for protecting yourself with condoms and also more important respecting your partner. He told me he felt better talking to me about it and not just guessing how things go and listening to his friends.

So talk to your kids even if they are moody teens, they still need you.

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